Ep 30 - How To THRIVE Even While Your Child Is Being Diagnosed With A Disease or A Scary Health Condition?
Before we get into today’s episode I have an announcement. I am opening the doors for the first time to the THRIVE Mastermind Program for Conscious Mothers.
Does raising small children mean you have to suffer through it one day at a time, or can you actually THRIVE and enjoy my life as a woman, wife, and a mother?
The answer begins with a decision.
The decision that your health matters, your well-being matters, you are worth it and deserve to feel good. This is the best thing you can do for your daughter who will one day model you.
Imagine how that would feel like to see your daughter modeling so naturally what you had to work so hard for?
This is what you will learn in the Thrive Mastermind For Conscious Mothers
So what does it mean to THRIVE as a woman, wife, and mother?
It means to feel safe and in harmony inside your own body.
It means to understand how the body works, how your digestive system and metabolism work.
It means figuring out what is your chronotype and utilize sleep to support your health.
It means to live in alignment with your menstrual cycle and hormones.
It means to cultivate emotional mastery and learn how to regulate your big emotions.
It means to find what it is that you want to do with your life, how you want to feel and courageously design the roadmap to get there.
It means to know how to feel good about your sexuality and optimize joy and pleasure.
More than anything, It means embodying womanhood. Feeling really good in your own skin, and hopefully, pass that on to your daughter.
If this sounds like something your soul has been craving, this is your chance. I only accept serious women into this program, only women who are serious about making a change in their lives. Women who are done surviving and are ready to THRIVE!
You deserve to feel good!
I am committed to guiding you and holding your hand with love, compassion, and sisterhood, but also to kick your booty when needed.
By filling up this application you are not committing to anything, other than giving yourself permission to be curious and ask if this is something that can help you show up in your life as a better mother, better wife, and better woman.
Alright, let’s jump into today’s episode.
Seeing your child going through a hard time is heartbreaking and uncomfortable, that’s for sure. Remember the first time they got sick or had a fever? They look so miserable and you simply have no idea what to do or how to cope with this. I remember the first time my older daughter had a febrile seizure, which was the worst thing you can imagine, and if your child had it, you know what I mean. The shaking, the foam that comes out of their mouth, and then after it passes the next thirty minutes of them being completely immobile or like they’ve just had an out of body experience, which if you think about it actually is true. As parents we freak out, we lose control, we feel helpless and useless especially when you are faced with the bureaucracy of whatever health care system you are a part of.
Trust me, I’ve been there many times, I understand how that feels.
Today I want to talk to you about something I am currently faced with which definitely feels like the most difficult time as a mother, wife and just overall in my life as a human being. Two of my kids have been diagnosed with scary diseases/health conditions which is heartbreaking, scary and dead on uncomfortable. I can’t say this is easy for me, or that I know what I’m doing. What I can share with you are the three things I do in order to stay sane and cruise this season of our lives in the most smooth way possible.
I work with mothers and daughters and I see them struggle with something all the time. A struggle is a part of the process. Growth is only possible when we overcome some kind of struggle in our lives, only then it feels as though you have mastered whatever you are faced with. I love this quote by Eckhart Tolle, who is a spiritual leader and it goes like this: “Suffering is necessary until you realize it is unnecessary”. What this means is that you will, or at least whatever you are experiencing will feel like suffering as long as you are unaware of something or see something through a different lens. Only after you change your perspective on things, go through a certain life experience, will you be able to feel like you no longer suffer.
I know this sounds a little woo-woo, and it is in a way, but honestly, I believe this is the way the world works. Now, I say this because if I didn’t understand this fully, I would not be able to show up for my kids the way I want to.
If I didn’t understand this, I would be freaking out, losing my cool, feeling stuck in victim mentality constantly asking the question: “why me?? why my kids? why do they deserve it?”
That being said, I choose to show up in a way that is in alignment with how I want to feel, which is confident, grounded, clear, trusting and safe. These are the feelings and emotions I want to cultivate in my life with regards to all aspects, and my kids’ health is no exception.
So what are the three things I do in order to get through this hard time:
- Self-care is non-negotiable as well as putting clear boundaries around my time – right now I do not have the time for excuses and putting things off. I’m not talking about manicure-pedicure here (although I got that done last week), what I am talking about here is practicing mindfulness and physical activity. Yoga and meditation are my go-to’s and I stick to them religiously. They help me feel in control of my emotional state, take necessary actions with a clear and calm mind. If your child is facing a health condition, you are not being of service to them if you act from a place of fear or self-neglect. Right now they need you strong, clear, positive and faithful. Give yourself permission to practice the things that help you feel good, so that you can show up to your child’s struggles fully with love, compassion, and resilience. In terms of putting clear boundaries around my time, what I mean is that right now I say “no” to almost everything. My energy is limited right now and I want to make sure I use it wisely, so I am making a conscious choice and being clear about my time. A friend wants to go for lunch, sorry but now is not the right time for that. A family wants to come over for dinner, sorry now is not the time for that. Binging on Netflix is also not the best idea. Even with my work, I’ve had to put my entire business operation in low gear because now is not the time to go full force. I support my paying clients, but other than that I don’t do anything else. You’ve probably noticed that I’ve been scattered with my podcast, and this is the reason.
- Food – eating well, feeding and nourishing my body is important now than ever! Food is not only one of life’s greatest pleasures, it also one of life’s best medicines. It would not be wise to binge and numb myself with comfort food that doesn’t support my own health. Especially now I am super selective with regards to the food I put in my body whether it is drinking green shakes every morning, which help to support my digestive system and keep my blood sugar stable, sticking to whole grains rather than empty carbs which spike blood sugar up or keeping myself well hydrated. Now is the time to take a really good care of yourself. Again, if I don’t feel good I can’t be of service to my children, so make sure to feed yourself with food that supports and nourishes your body, and also feed your kids with real food. This is the best way to support yourself and them through this process. Now that I say this, I have to tell you a story that happened to me last week as we were at the hospital to be seen by the doctor. My husband was hungry so he went downstairs to the cafeteria to get himself something to eat, and he was astounded to find only junk food at the hospital’s cafeteria. Yup, that is the crazy world we live in, junk food is being served at the hospital where people need real food now then never. I had to rave about this, so yeah make sure to make good choices with food, especially now.
- Sleep – I cannot function without sleep period. There is absolutely nothing I can do for myself or for anyone else unless I get a good sleep. Sometimes nights are terrible and my baby wakes up a lot I know that I have to ask for help during the day so that I can nap for a few hours. Otherwise, I literally cannot function. I’ve had times when I left the stove on, the water running, left the car door open the whole night when I was sleep deprived. Right now sleep is another part of self-care.
Other than that I also make sure to ask for help when I need, stay in connection with my sisters and other strong women who have been through something similar and can reassure me and give me strength.
Actually, now that I think about it everything I’ve shared so far is related to self-care. That’s not a coincidence. Whenever you are faced with a challenging time in your life, you cannot neglect yourself. If you want to show up in your life as an amazing woman, wife, and mother taking care of yourself has to be a non-negotiable! This is what it means to THRIVE.
Check out the mastermind, this is the place for you to be a part of if you are going through something similar. This is where you can get the support and coaching from me, as well as being a part of a like-minded community of moms who share similar struggles.
I hope this has been helpful to you, let me know if you are faced with something similar in your own life and how you’re dealing with it. You can email me firstname.lastname@example.org or send me a private message via Facebook, I go under Dorit Palvanov.
May God bless us all with strength, vitality, healing, and love!
Sending you much love and many blessings,