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Ep 43 - Three Lessons I’m Learning From My Mothers

February 22nd, 2018

Welcome to another episode of the Health Begins With Mom Podcast, this is Dorit Palvanov your host. If this is your first time listening, welcome! And if you are a regular listener, I want to thank you for spending the next 30 minutes or so with me today. If you are a busy mama believe me I know the value of time, and how scarce it is because I am currently in the trenches right there with you. I am also a busy mama, I have three girls under age 8, married and on a mission to build a business that will bring my family financial freedom as well as inspire and touch women and mothers all around the world. My goal with this podcast and my work is to help mothers understand that before raising their children, they have to raise themselves, feel good in their female body, live up to their fullest potential, thrive as women and parent and mother from that empowered place. In order to raise really good kids, you must first understand that raising children is not a stand-alone project. It is a life's mission you do with intention and deliberation, especially if you want to do an amazing job at raising good human beings that we need more in the world.

It all starts with you. This podcast is called Health Begins With Mom for a reason. The word Health really means all the various aspects of life that make up our humanity - physical, emotional, spiritual and mental health. Specifically, things like spiritual practice and connection to a higher power, sacred work & career, romantic relationships, great relationships with your family & friends, physical health and feeling vital in a female body, cultivating health and abundance with your finances as well, emotional health, happiness and inner joy, creativity & self expression.

All of those things make up who you are, therefore I believe that looking for work-life balance doesn't work because you are not only two things. You are all of the things I've just mentioned. Putting work-life one against the other is like putting them on a scale with work on one side and all of life on the other side. Does this seem like a fair equation to you? Is it even a sustainable equation? My answer is not. I've tried to live this way believe me. It doesn't work.

Today on the show it's me solo speaking to you from my heart. I think this is an important conversation that not many people talk about, and today I want to open it up for you and me. so let's dive in.

If you've been following me for a while you know that I am interested to know how to thrive in my life as a woman, wife, and mother without sacrificing my health and wellbeing. How can I live up to my fullest potential as a woman without feeling like I am putting myself on hold? How can I have a meaningful and connected relationship with my husband, daughters and other people in my life in a way that nourishes and fills me up as opposed to draining me?

I want to make it very clear here that I am not talking about feeling happy all the time, nor am I looking for ways to avoid pain. Nope. That is not the intention here.

I understand that this is unsustainable either, and I do understand that there is beauty and wisdom in pain as well. It is all a matter of perspective. I want to learn how to have the right mindset along with some strategies to help myself evolve as a woman through life feeling like I am thriving, progressing and feeling joy in every stage of my life.

One thing I've been doing since I'm a little girl is learning through observation and asking questions. I've been observing my own mother, grandmothers, aunts, and other women in my life and seeing how they're living their lives. I can vividly remember myself seeing how they live and thinking to myself NOT THIS. This is not how I want to live my life.

I am going to take you on a short trip around my family's maternal lineage and show you how these women have suffered throughout their entire lives. My great-grandmother was a beautiful woman who've lost her husband in World War II and was left alone with three kids. Because of her youth and beauty, she was able to still get married (at the time women with children were considered as damaged goods and I'm saying it lightly). Her second marriage wasn't very good but she chose to stay in it because she didn't believe in her ability to sustain herself. Eventually, she passed away in grief and sadness. My grandmother (one of her daughters) physically lost the ability to walk at around age 70, and eventually suffered a brain seizure which led to a long and painful death. My own mom, who I love dearly, had denied her needs so much and that eventually physically manifested as a depression at age 40 which she had for a full year.

Now, this trend of women who are manifesting dis-ease in their body is not unique to my maternal line. I've seen other women, aunts, women on my father's side and husbands side who've had very similar verdicts. Women everywhere are suffering as a result of not fully discovering themselves, their needs and because of their inability to communicate them to other people.

I know what you must be thinking. You can't really compare our generation to past generations, they didn't have the opportunities we have today. Which is true. But each generation had opportunities related to their time. For example, I know women from that generation who've chosen to move to a different province and go to school even while having children at home. They relied heavily on other people's help and were able to eventually sustain themselves and the kids. I know this is a sensitive topic and it is difficult to say these things without judgment so all I'm going to say is that I want to learn from all these women's mistakes to which I refer collectively as 'my mothers' and hopefully create a better life for myself, my daughters and you!

Today I want to talk about three most profound mistakes I've learned from my mothers and I'm also going to talk about what I think you should do instead in order to avoid unnecessary pain.

Mistake number one is the inability to identify your own needs and then to communicate them to other people. Last episode I've spoken about the importance of mastering relationships because as human beings, and especially women we are wired for connection. People are in connection with other people, whether they are your spouse, your children, your co-workers, other family members, friends, etc. The premise here is understanding that it is your job to communicate your needs, and you cannot expect other people to understand you or read your mind. This is not their job. This is your job. Communication is skill number one you must learn. And yes, this is a learnable skill!

Why do most people prefer not to go there? Why do most women prefer not to communicate or state their needs? Why didn't and don't my mothers state their needs? Well, that is for two reasons. Reason number one is they don't know what they need, or at least they think they don't. And reason number two is because we are not taught how to do this effectively. We are not taught how to be in conflict or respond to conflict. Now, here's what I want you to understand, in order to succeed in life and relationships, you must embrace conflict. We must come to peace with the idea that when two, or more people are in connection, there will be disagreements. This is just a given. A reality of life. If you want your relationships to nourish and fill you up you must embrace conflict and learn how to communicate your needs effectively and respectfully.

In a minute I will mention a tool you can use in order to help yourself state these needs, but before I do I want to talk about mistake number two.

So, mistake number two I've observed my mothers do is that they live and lived the majority of their lives without knowing how to regulate their big and scary emotions. Most people and I'm not talking about children here, I mean adult people, don't know how to bounce back after feeling fear, embarrassment, disappointment, shame, feeling of inferiority, feeling small and not respected, or feeling unseen. All of these are emotions, and as human beings, we are emotional beings. We feel things. Do not let your emotions to drive your car. Emotions by nature are temporary, which means that they come and go, and we must learn how to feel in control of our emotional state. When we don't learn how to process our emotions, we feel stuck and unsuccessful, we feel weak and as a result, numb ourselves.

Numbing is a coping and soothing mechanism we use to feel good, to bounce back. However, most of us are using the wrong soothing mechanism. Do you know what I mean by numbing? Some people numb themselves with destructive things like alcohol, drugs or sex. But the majority of people numb themselves with subtle things like TV, sleep, gossip, working too hard and too much, getting themselves busy with mundane things just to fill up their schedule and time in order to not feel the discomfort.

Learning to regulate your big and scary emotions is crucial for your own health and wellbeing and of course is extremely important to teach this to your children.

So, mistake number one is not knowing what you need and communicate it, and mistake number two is not knowing how to regulate your big and scary emotions. I promised to share a great tool you can use to initiate this process and start practicing it. In the show notes, I am attaching two links to two wonderful resources you can use, the first one is called the Needs Inventory and the second one is called The Emotions Inventory. I haven't created these, these are created by the Centre For Nonviolent Communication and the goal is to teach you to communicate effectively. So, here's what you can do for starters, go through the needs and feelings lists, and in your journal write down how you're feeling and what do you need. Ask yourself what do I feel right now? And then ask yourself, which need is not being met? Now is the hard job - communicating what you've come up with. In order to do so, you need to articulate a clear sentence using the need you've identified. Example: "Right now I feel irritable and overwhelmed because the laundry is overflowing and the sink is full of dishes and I have a strong need for order and harmony otherwise I cannot feel centered. Can you please help?"

This work is not easy but so important! It requires a lot of courage and willingness to be vulnerable. If you feel like you need help with identifying your needs and feelings and communicating them either with your spouse or your children, please reach out to me. I offer intensive one-on-one coaching sessions for women where we do this kind of work together, and then you go out there and practice it with people around you. You can email me at dorit@healthbeginswithmom.com.

Alright, let's get into mistake number three I've learned from my mothers. That is giving so much to the point of depletion. I call this "unconscious giving". Why unconscious? Because behind this giving there is fear. Fear that if I don't give I will suffer. If I don't give I am not going to be accounted as a good wife, mother, woman, employee, friend, etc. By the way, this kind of giving is another form of numbing because in your head you're feeling like you are being of service (or saving someone), but in reality, this is only taking away people's power. Unconscious giving is a negative kind of giving. This kind of giving is one-sided because energetically it shuts off reciprocity. Energetically, you are not allowing the other person to give back to you, to do the same to you. Because you don't need anything back from them.

Say your husband got sick. Obviously, you are going to take care of him, bring him food and drink, change his sheets, or do whatever you can to help him heal faster. At which point does this become unconscious? When you are sick, and no one comes to help you. He doesn't bring you tea and food, he doesn't reciprocate. Why does this happen? Because you haven't taught him how to reciprocate to you, how to treat you. Because you haven't communicated to him what you need or what you expect of him. See how crucial it is to know what you need? If you don't know and understand yourself, how can you expect anyone to understand you?

Stop saving people, stop feeling like a hero. You're not. You're only depleting yourself and robbing them of their ability to give back to you and themselves. It's like you don't believe in their ability to take care of you or themselves.

That's how this may sound: "Don't worry about me, I'm fine, just make sure you are ok", or you cook for them, clean for them, but ask for nothing in return. This kind of giving raises selfish spouses and children. So, in order to eradicate this from your life get intentional about giving and also pointing out that it would be nice if they did the same for you. Here's an example: "honey, I am happy to help taking care of the kids and house while you work, and I'd appreciated if you could give me the weekend so that I can catch up with my own work as well". This is something you could say to your kids: "Sweetie, I am happy to pack your school lunch, and I would appreciate it if you could empty the dishwasher when you come back home from school."

Do you see how by communicating like this you are allowing for reciprocity? This is very important!

So, as you can see the three mistakes I've learned from my mothers are basically skills they didn't learn. What's good about skills is that they are learnable that you can practice and master in order to enhance your life. In order to live your life the best way possible, in order to thrive in your life as a woman, wife, and mother you must prioritize yourself as a human being. After all, you are a child of God and you deserve to feel respected, seen, heard, taken care of, nourished, and so on. You owe this to yourself and to your children. Only when you thrive as a woman and human being can you raise children who know how to communicate effectively, embrace conflict in a way that nourishes them and anyone who's in contact with them. That is what I want for myself, my daughters and for you.

I hope this has been helpful and insightful. So your action task for today is to start practicing stating your feelings and needs, first to yourself and then to people you're connected to. If you need help or support feel free to reach out to me, you can email me at dorit@healthbeginswithmom.com.

Show Notes 

Needs Inventory 

Feelings Inventory

Book a discovery call with me

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Ep 42 - Thriving In Your Marriage and Relationships with Tal Dew Shaish

February 14th, 2018

You are a woman.

You might be a wife.

You might be a mother.

Regardless, in order to thrive in your life, you will have to master being in connection and relationship with other human beings. This is just a fact of life. As human beings, and especially as women, we are wired for connection, conversation, communication and relating to other beings. One of the most significant relationships you will ever have is your relationship with your spouse or partner. For most of us, the beginning is great, exciting and sparkled with confetti and pink candy. And then, things basically go downward from there. In my work with women I hear complains such as "he's not the man I married", "there were so many promises that didn't actualize", "we're growing apart", "we live like roommates, and have nothing to talk about other than the house logistics and the kids".

So what do we do? What can we do to keep the love alive?

Today on the show I am chatting with Tal Dew Shaish who is a personal coach, mentor and the author of the book "The 12 Keys to Finding Love in Less Than 300 Dates". In her work she's training people to better interpersonal communication, leading them to breakthroughs in their personal and romantic lives. With many (many) years of being a single woman, endless relationships and dates under her belt, Tal brings a unique outlook on the world of older singles, and on interpersonal communication between couples.

Here's what we cover on the show:

  • Tal's personal "300-dates" story
  • Why do relationships lose their spark and excitement over time?
  • What can we do in order to strengthen our relationships and make them last long-term?
  • Why it's important to let the father play an active role in raising the kids
  • Why shouldn't we be fighting in front of the kids?
  • The importance of nourishing yourself within the "confinement" of a relationship
  • What is the new model of relationship?

I think you are going to love this show, especially since it's going live on Valentines Day! So happy valentines and hope you'll listen to this podcast interview and implement some of the tips Tal shares. I would love to know what are your takeaways from this episode, your feedback is super important to me since this is how I learn about your interests so I can keep producing content you care about and find interesting. So feel free to reach out to me at dorit@healthbeginswithmom.com.

Show Notes 

Tal's website 

Tal's FB group 

Tal's LinkedIn profile 

Tal's book: The 12 Keys to Finding Love in Less Than 300 Dates

Gottman Card Decks App

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Ep 41 - Why Every Woman Who’ve Gone Through Childbirth Must Do Pelvic Floor Physiotherapy with Guest Karin Salzman

February 7th, 2018

As a women's health coach one thing I talk to women about is getting back in shape after having a baby, but this is not the kind of shape you are thinking about. I am not talking about losing weight or getting your pre-baby body back. I've done a whole interview about this topic with Stephanie Sibbio who's a holistic health coach, specializing in fitness and nutrition for new and expecting moms, so if you're interested in this topic, listen to episode #6. 

Today we are going to talk about getting your pelvic floor back in shape. This is important especially if you've gone through vaginal birth, but could be necessary even if you've had a c-section. Almost all women need to see a pelvic floor physiotherapist after birth. If you are struggling with incontinence, pain during intercourse, prolapse, tearing this episode is for you.

This topic is important because way too many women are afraid to talk about this feel shame and embarrassment and if they have these symptoms they are somehow damaged goods or broken. I want you to know that nothing can be further from the truth. You are a child of God and you deserve to be happy, to lead a joyful and full life. You have everything you need to thrive all you need to do is stay curious, open and be willing to do the work. Personally, I am done with keeping quiet, not talking about embarrassing and vulnerable issues. I hope this episode is helpful for you, feel free to reach out to me or Karin in our closed Facebook group 'Busy Moms Get Healthy', where we continue the conversation and you can ask questions related to your health or the health of your family. We are here to support you and your family. 

By the way, If you are interested to work with me privately please feel free to reach out to me via email, dorit@healthbeginswithmom.com. I help women and teenage girls to love themselves, honor their body and thrive in it. I teach a system called The Feminine Current which is all about aligning how you live, love, work, play, mother, and parent with your body's innate wisdom. I will teach you how to organize your life in a way that will feel like you are flowing and living with ease and lots of energy as opposed to being overwhelmed, stuck, and irritated. You deserve to live this way as so do your children. If this sounds interesting or at least something you are curious about let's chat. I want to hear from you and would love to get on the phone with you. Send me an email and let's see if we are a good fit. 

Today on the show I am chatting with Karin Salzman, a wife and mom of 4, and a physiotherapist who helps women heal from symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction so they can thrive and achieve their potential. 

Here's what we cover on the show: 

  • What is pelvic floor physiotherapy
  • what are the symptoms of someone who needs pelvic floor physiotherapy 
  • The five functions of the pelvic floor 
  • What could disrupt the natural function of the pelvic floor
  • An exercise to locate the pelvic floor area
  • How would you know if you have a problem with your pelvic floor
  • Why are Kegel exercises not good enough to strengthen the pelvic floor?
  • Why didn't I know about this kind of therapy?
  • when is a good time to visit a pelvic floor physiotherapist? Before or after birth?
  • What can I expect at a visit with a pelvic floor PT?

Show Notes: 

Karin Salzman PT
Pelvic Health Physiotherapist
416-629-2324

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Ep 40 - Respectful & Peaceful Parenting with guest Avital Schreiber (AKA The Parenting Junkie)

January 31st, 2018

Before we get into today's episode I want to talk about you. I want to talk about your life, the way you show up in how you live, love, play, work, mother, and parent. Are you happy? Do you feel like you are thriving? Do you feel successful? Do you feel proud of yourself, of the way you raise your family and show up in your life? Do you feel good in your body, with your energy levels, with how you organize your day? Or do you feel like a panting dog most days, like you are running around and around in circles and never having enough time to finish anything? Does this sound familiar?

Do you feel endless exhaustion, moodiness, hormonal, in all sorts of pain, looking at yourself in the mirror with disgust and shame, having a flakey hair, flaky skin, disconnected from yourself? Feeling chronically unappreciated, lonely, constantly yelling, and never feeling like you have enough.

Do you feel like all you do is survive the day instead of thriving in your days?

The only reason I bring this up is because I have been that woman not long ago. For the most part, I had everything I needed - I had the house, the marriage, kids, my work but something was missing. The missing piece was me. I wasn't present. I was doing all the things, showing up for the logistics but going to bed feeling depleted. Admitting this wasn't easy, I had to be willing to be uber honest with myself and say out loud that, slowly, I was wasting my life away.

The questions to ask here is when? When will you wake up and decide that it's time for a change? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result. When will you decide that it's time to take care of you? When is it time to give yourself what you've been giving to others all this time?

I want you to know that it is possible to change your current reality if you feel like you are not living up to your potential. If you feel like you are wasting your life, Like I did. But where do you start? Here's an amazing exercise for you to do at home or once you have some time for yourself. Start by writing out what it is that you really want, or would be nice to have. Do this exercise even if it feels like you are fooling yourself or wasting time doing it. Do it anyway! This is your doorway to seeing what's possible. Because If you can write it, it can be achieved. Period.

Then I want you to reach out to me and share with me what you've come up with. I want to invite you to chat with me, and share with me what is it that you need right now in order to feel good. What is it that you need but don't dare to admit to anyone, not even to yourself?

I work with women and mothers who are ready to step out of their own way, define what it is that they need, voice it loud and clear and then create the reality they want for themselves. In order for this to happen you need to have the mindset down, your health in check, you need to learn how to organize your life around your fluctuating hormones so that you can rip the maximum of each day. This is super important if you are a busy mom who doesn't have time to waste. Whether you're running a business, organizing an event, getting ready for an important speech that has the potential to change your entire career, or even if you are raising small kids, juggling a million things all at once, you need to learn how to move through life in a female body, embodying femininity, sexuality, sensuality, mastering how to regulate your big and scary emotions. The truth is that we are not men and it is absurd, in my opinion, that we try to move through life like men and then feel like shit. This is because we are women, and women do life differently. So I encourage you to do this exercise and then reach out to me and we can chat about what it is that you need and how I can help you have more of what you want by doing less work and hustle. You can reach me at dorit@healthbeginswithmom.com

Alright, so this ties beautifully with today's topic. Today we are talking about respect and peacefulness in parenting, and you and I know that it all has to start from within. We cannot respect other people unless we respect ourselves, respectful parenting begins with the inner work.

As a parent, you know that having children is one thing. Enjoying the process of raising them is another. Raising confident, resilient, self-reliant, independent, resourceful, explorative, children with a growth mindset is a completely different ballgame.

It requires intention, time investment, being present, and resourcefulness on our part as well. This is not an easy task nowadays where we have a million things pulling at us in different directions. We have our fulltime jobs, careers, activities, food planning and food prep, dishes, laundry, household stuff, kids school, driving them to and from, your marriage, friends & family, holidays, and so on. No wonder why so many of us, women and moms, are feeling like we are constantly out of balance, or searching for balance every single day.

The shiny object syndrome is alluding us to sometimes neglect, unintentionally, of course, the things that matter the most - enjoying your own life and the life, or lives, you've created.

We all want what's best for our kids. I think the vast majority of parents want to do a good job, most of us want to raise people we need more of in this world and not the opposite. I think the best approach to this would be realizing that raising kids will trigger you, it will bring up a lot of gunk from your past, things you haven't dealt with yet, and in a sense viewing parenting as an opportunity for personal growth and your kids as your teachers, or gurus

One website I really enjoy and is super helpful for me is The Parenting Junkie. Here's a little piece from the website: 

If you believe that parenting is a journey of transformational growth – for the parent, more than for the child.
If you believe there are no bad children, only children who are having a hard time.
If you believe no matter what situation you’re in – empathy will help.
If you believe that good parenting means striving for connection.
If you believe that connected parenting does not come naturally, but demands intense levels of commitment and deliberate practice.

Well, then my friend, you and I are already best buds.

Today on the show I am chatting with Avital Schreiber, the creator of The Parenting Junkie, who is a mindful parenting coach and imperfect Mom to three little-spirited gurus.

Avital's work is dedicated to helping parents to Love Parenting and to Parent from Love. The Parenting Junkie publishes weekly videos designed to inspire, inform and uplift and runs courses and memberships dedicated to prioritizing Play, Presence, and Peace in our and our children's lives. A HuffPost contributor, with an audience in all four corners of the globe, her work is endorsed and recommended by the leaders in the Parenting space, Dr. Shefali Tsabary, and Dr. Laura Markham.

Here's what we cover on the show

  • Why is it important to respect our children?
  • How to apply the respectful and peaceful parenting approach with regards to food and mealtime?
  • The Gardner and the Carpenter approach to raising children.
  • How is it that our children are our teachers? What are we learning from them?
  • Conscious feeding and feeding children with patience, love, good sense.
  • Feeling in control over your buying power with regards to food
  • The atmosphere we create when we eat and empowering kids to enjoy mealtime
  • The division of responsibility in feeding
  • Kids want to thrive and succeed, how we can tap into their inner wisdom
  • Prioritizing play as the pillar of childhood
  • Benefits of boredom and doing nothing

Show Notes

theparentingjunkie.com

The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children by Alison Gopnik 

Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense, Revised and Updated Edition by Ellyn Satter

Experts mentioned: Dr. Peter Grey, Alfie Kohn, Ken Robinson, Dr. Shefali Tsabari, Dr. Dan Siegel

The Division of Responsibility 

Present Play Membership Community 

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Ep 39 - Sex After Baby With Guest Kimberly Johnson (aka Magamama)

January 24th, 2018

Today’s show is super juicy, super uncomfortable to talk about yet super important to talk about!

We are talking about post-partum. More specifically postpartum sex!

Remember yourself in the bedroom (or anywhere else for that matter) before having kids? Remember how wild and free you were? How you always found the time and energy to be intimate, how quickly and easily you got turned on? Remember the smell of your partner and how madly in love you felt after being intimate? I get goosebumps thinking back and recalling how different things were before kids came into the picture.

For me, after three vaginal births (and three extra mouths to feed) things are much different now.

Now we pretty much have to schedule a time in our calendars to make it happen, otherwise, there is just no time! With three young kids, sex is sort of like a chore or a to do. Now by the time kids go to bed we are exhausted and prioritize sleep over sex. After kids, I feel like we, women, sort of feel like we do our partners a HUGE favor for being intimate? Now your desire and passion for sex are not as acute as it used to be. Your hormones have changed, you have changed, your partner have changed and now is the time to go through the process, I call “adulting” which is when you realize that, although things are different now, you can still experience joy, ecstasy, pleasure and yes orgasm like a virgin!

You probably won’t be able to scream like a virgin, so go ahead put a hand on your mouth, do it in the basement, laundry room or simply wait for kids to be at school, but for the love of God do not give up on sex! It is such an important and crucial piece of your mental, emotional and physical health!

Today on the show I am talking with Kimberly Johnson, who is a certified Sexological Bodyworker, Somatic Experiencing practitioner, doula, post-partum recovery specialist and retired yoga teacher. She has taught workshops on the intersection of women’s sexuality and spirituality throughout Brazil, Portugal, and the United States. She is the author of the book “The Fourth Trimester: A post parturm guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions and Restoring Your Vitality.” She specializes in birth injury, birth trauma, and sexual healing and currently works in private practice in Solana Beach, California.

Here’s what we covered on the show:

  • Kimberly’s story and how she healed herself from a pelvic prolapse after birthing her daughter
  • The definition of ‘sexological bodywork’ and why is it helpful for women who have experienced birth trauma
  • The definition of a ‘somatic experiencing’ and how she uses her training to help women post-partum
  • How to prepare for sex postpartum so both sides don’t feel disappointment?
  • The importance of learning to orgasm from a place of connection.
  • Nutrients and supplements to support healing post-partum.

Show Notes

magamama.com

The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions, and Restoring Your Vitality

 
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Ep 38 - The Body Image Survival Guide for Parents with guest Marci Warhaft

January 17th, 2018

Today on the show I am chatting with Marci Warhaft who is a body image advocate, founder of the Fit vs Fiction workshops and author of “The Body Image Survival Guide for Parents: Helping Toddlers, Tweens and Teens Thrive”, and blogger for the Huffington Post.  After battling her own body image issues, Marci created her Fit vs Fiction program to tear down the dangerous myths related to beauty and fitness and empower kids with the self-esteem they need to tune out negative messages and be proud of who they are instead of judging themselves for who they think they’re not. I've heard Marci speak at a local event and instantly loved her message and her mission and I'm super excited to bring her to you!

Show Notes

The Body Image Survival Guide For Parents - Helping Toddlers, Tweens, and Teens Thrive

https://www.fitvsfiction.com/

Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program that Works

Health At Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight

The Masks of Masculinity 

Embrace Documentary 

Pussy A Reclamation

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Ep 37 – As We Wrap Up 2017 I Want You To Remember That You Are Enough, You Are Not Broken And You Are Worthy Of Anything Your Heart Desires!

December 28th, 2017

This is the last episode for 2017 and I want to thank you for listening every week, connecting via social media and email, sending me your questions and recommend me to invite various guests from the field of health, parenting, mental health, mindfulness, etc. I just want to say HUGE thanks for all that you are! I do what I do because of people like you, who are motivated to take back control of their own, their kids and their family’s health.

As we wrap up 2017 I want you to remember that you are enough, you are not broken or less than anyone else in any way shape or form. You deserve to live your life to the fullest, enjoy living in a healthy body, have a positive relationship with food and raise children who want to be like you!

I would love to help you achieve your health goals, and take back control of your health. Do you need help with losing the stubborn weight, balance your hormones, heal your thyroid and adrenal glands? Or do you need help with a picky eater? Let’s connect and see if we are a good fit! Send me an email to dorit@healthbeginswithmom.com and we’ll get on the phone to see if I’m qualified to help you, if not I might be able to refer you to the right people.

NOT THIS by Elizabeth Gilbert 

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Ep 36 - GNM - A Revolutionizing New Approach To Health With Dr. Alvin De Leon

December 19th, 2017

Before we get into today's interview, I have a quick announcement. I am opening the doors to my signature 4-week program Teach Your Kids To Eat Vegetables, which is all about teaching you how to feed your kids healthfully with more love, compassion, understanding and good sense.

As parents, we want the best for our children. We want our child to grow healthy and live up to his/her potential. At the end of the day, we want to give them a good start in life.

Before jumping to big ideas like helping them live up to their potential, can we all agree that keeping them alive is a challenge on its own? I mean, one of the most challenging responsibilities of a parent is to feed our children, but what do you do when they refuse food? When he/she can go days on end without eating? Or eating very little?

Does this sound familiar?

  • You have carved out the time to make a beautiful, nutritionally balanced meal for your family, and your child doesn’t want to eat it
  • Your child routinely eats very little (which you find to be worrisome)
  • Your child doesn’t want to sit at the table, keeps jumping up and down and not honoring the idea of ‘sitting down to eat’
  • Your child eats very slowly (and you find it extremely annoying)
  • You have to use distractions (TV, phone, toys, etc) to keep your child engaged and interested in food.
  • You have to run around after your child because that’s the only way he/she will eat.
  • You feed your child in the bath because that’s the only way he/she eats willingly
  • Your child is too lean but doesn’t seem lethargic.
  • Your child is full of energy, however, eats very little
  • Your child is constipated most of the time and you don’t know how to help.
  • You dread meal time, you wish someone else could do it for you.
  • You don’t enjoy cooking and resort to processed foods and then feel guilty for doing so

In the holiday spirit, I offer this course at a 30% discount and you can find more information about this in the show notes either on iTunes, Stitcher or on my website, healthbeginswithmom.com/ep-34. This is a great course for parents who are tired of food battles and using food as reward or punishment. I believe that food is life's greatest pleasures and as parents, we can give this gift to our children - the gift of having a positive relationship with food. If you have any questions regarding this course, please feel free to email me at dorit@healthbeginswithmom.com or by sending me a private message on FB, I go under Dorit Palvanov.

Alright, now let's get into today's show! I am so excited for today's episode, finally, it is happening!! Today's guest is someone I have been thinking about sharing with the world even before the podcast was in the plans! You guys know that I am a strong believer that in order to thrive in this human experience we have to learn how to regulate our emotions. Human beings are emotional beings and emotions play a huge role when it comes to healing as well. True healing is only possible when we take back control of our own health when we stop looking outside of ourselves for someone to heal or save us. Whether this "someone" is a doctor, nutritionist, health coach, chiropractor, or a psychic. As a human being you have access to an unbelievable powerhouse which is your body and energy, and when you know how to work with it and live your life in alignment with the laws of nature, then and only then can you truly heal yourself. Imagine how powerful that would be if you taught your kids to do the same? My goal with this podcast is to introduce you to the people, practitioners, and leaders from the world of alternative health and wellness that can help you take the first steps on this journey. I want you to educate yourself so that you can pass on this lost wisdom to your children and future generations so we can stop unnecessary suffering and start tapping more easily into health, abundance, well-being, vitality so we can stop to just exist or survive through our days and instead THRIVE as women, wives, and mothers.

Dr. Alvin De Leon is a father of 2 and a natural health practitioner and licensed chiropractor. He holds a Bachelor of Science degree from York University with combined honors in Psychology and Kinesiology.  He graduated magna cum laude from New York Chiropractic College in 2002 and has since continued to educate himself on various mind-body therapies. It was during this journey that Dr. Alvin first learned about Dr. Hamer's research on the science of GNM (German New Medicine) and The Five Biological Laws.  He began his GNM studies in 2008 and has since fully integrated GNM into his clinical practice.  With over 15 years of clinical experience, he has helped thousands of people understand the emotional component of their physical symptoms so that they can have relief and get back to doing what they love.  Since 2009, Dr. Alvin has been giving monthly GNM presentations in the Vaughan, Ontario region as well as online GNM webinars. His goal is to help reduce people's health fears and to empower them to be the experts of their bodies.

Here's what we cover on the show: 

  • Introduction to GNM (German New Medicine) and why it's important for parents?
  • Why should food not be used as a cause of illness or diseases and what's the right approach to food according to GNM?
  • The five biological laws
  • How do explain cancer according to GNM?
  • Are drugs, antibiotics, fever lowering medicine necessary according to GNM?
  • Is chiropractic or any other healing modalities even necessary when someone is applying the GNM method?
  • How to manage febrile seizures?
  • What do the skeptics say about GNM?

Without further ado, here's my interview with Dr. Alvin De Leon!

Show Notes 

Teach Your Kids To Eat Vegetables Course For Parents of Picky Eaters  

Alvin's website 

Learn more about GNM 

http://www.germannewmedicine.ca/

Follow Dr. Alvin De Leon's on social media handles - Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter and Snapchat @DrAlvinDeLeon. Or you can subscribe to his weekly Adapter's Digest Newsletter via his website: DrAlvinDeLeon.com

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Ep 35 - Ep 35 - How To Make Only One Meal The Entire Family Will Eat With Jodi Danen

December 11th, 2017

One of the biggest challenges moms complain to me about is catering to everyone's dietary needs or preferences in the family. I hear questions like, How do I NOT make more than one meal for my family? How do I make my kid eat what we eat? How do I get my picky eater to try new foods?

I get it believe me. I also have a picky eater at home and it is definitely a challenge to not only make a healthy meal but actually get this food in her mouth without coercion, threatening or punishment. I believe that feeding, as well as parenting, has got to be done in a respectful manner with understanding, compassion, grace, and patience.

I hear many moms complain that they are not enjoying to be in the kitchen, that they hate cooking. A lot of it is not really because they hate cooking, but actually because they've never learned to cook, which in my belief is one of the most important skills to learn ourselves and teach our children. Let's start by saying that if you are not enjoying cooking in general, or that you are dreading spending time in the kitchen this activity would seem both laborsome and a lot of hard and not fun work. No judgment here, I admit that I don't LOVE cooking, I do it because I choose to. You know that I am a huge proponent of sustainable living and this is true with regards to eating and feeding as well. If you find yourself repeatedly struggling and dreading mealtime then you have to ask yourself, WHY? What about this time of day is making me feel this way? Is it because I did not prepare ahead of time? Is it because the recipe I've chosen Is too complicated, has too many ingredients and steps? Could it be because I am too slow in the kitchen? Or is it because there is too much chaos around this time every day?

Even as a nutritionist and a health nut myself I don't think it is necessary to overcomplicate food, especially the weekly meals. I enjoy cooking, but you will not find me during the week cooking elaborate meals with more than 10 ingredients, and I'm also not afraid of repeating meals and eating the same food the next day (with the exception of salads of course). Whatever I have to do to streamline this process for myself, make life easy for myself, I do it.

So, yup, today we're having the same rice with chicken like yesterday, yes we're having soup, again. Remember, you are not only their mom, you are also the leader, and it is important to assert yourself with confidence consistently. This way they are learning that they can trust you, that it is OK to wait until the food is ready, that they are not going to die.

I love talking with other nutritionists and dietitians who also work with moms and pick their brains on how they approach these issues. So, Today I am talking with Jodi Danen, who is a wife, a mom of two, a registered dietitian and the founder CreateKidsClub.com, where she educates parents on healthy eating & cooking skills. She is also the creator of Lunch Bites school lunch note cards. These lunch box note cards feature positive notes or acts of kindness on the front with jokes and facts on the back. All cards are focused on food and nutrition. Kids love the positive fun of discovering a Lunch Bites note card in their lunch box, backpack or sports bag! If you are interested to learn more about these cards and get a little discount check out the link in the show notes. You can use the coupon code DORIT to get 10% off your purchase.

She is passionate about teaching children to cook at a young age & believes this is key to forming healthy habits for life. She lives in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Here's what we cover: 

  • What's the best way to avoid making more than one meal every day that picky eater will enjoy as well?
  • What is the best age for kids to start cooking on their own?
  • Advice for moms who do not enjoy cooking
  • Why is it important not be too strict with healthy food?

Show Notes

Busy Moms Get Healthy My Closed Facebook Group 

createkidsclub.com

Lunch Bites - School lunch notes cards 

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Ep 34 - Stop Feeling Overwhelmed By Living According To The Four Phases Of Creation - Part 2

December 6th, 2017

Today's episode is the continuation/part two from episode 32, where I talk about how when you are living in alignment with the cyclical nature of your menstrual cycle, with how you eat, exercise and socialize you are stepping into your greatness, ripping the benefits of living in accordance with the body's natural flow and embodying womanhood fully.

This way of living allows you to move through your life in a gentler way, where you are not as harsh with yourself as so many of us are. And I think we all know what I mean by that, right?

As women and mothers, we feel guilty all the time and about everything.

We should ourselves all day long, we should have done that, said that, bought that, or didn't buy that, went there, stayed home, and this list just goes on and on and on...

Today I am going to teach you how to live in alignment with your cyclical nature, how to capitalize on the different stages of each phase and how, as a result, you can be kinder and gentler to yourself throughout your days, weeks, months and years. By the way, I learned this system from Kate Northrup, so if you're interested in more of this you should definitely check her out. She talks about sustainable success in motherhood and how to have more by doing less.

In part one I talked about how our menstrual cycle is our base point for everything, and how our food, exercise and the way we socialize should change during each phase of the cycle. So, if you didn't listen to it, please go back and listen, you can find this training over at my website, healthbeginswithmom.com/ep-32.

Today I am going to talk about the last piece, which is how we should change and adapt, not only how we eat, exercise and socialize, but also how we work, study and just in general move through our days. This is super important to know and understand because we are human beings living on planet earth in a body that is connected to nature. Knowing this gives you the power to say yes (or no) to things at the right time because this is what right for you. This gives you the feeling that you have control over your life so that you are able to be proactive about the things that matter to you as opposed to being reactive to other people's schedules, your never-ending to-do list, your kids activities, spending time with the people you love, etc. You are the queen and you get to design your life in accordance with this system. When you master this, you will feel like you're ruling the world.

So, there are four phases to anything you do or create, whether it is a project you are working on at work, organizing a birthday party for your child, or literally giving birth. We all move through these four phases, which are also known as the four cycles of success, and they are:

Visibility - this phase has the energy of the full moon, summer, ovulation, peak fertility, rebirth, and receptivity. This is when things can be brought into manifestation. This is when you are allowing yourself to be seen, heard, present. If you think of yourself as a flower, then this is the time to blossom! 

In the framework of a day, this would start at 7 am and go until 11 am, which is when the sun is already high in the sky and your day has officially started. Everyone is waking up, you're packing kids lunches, backpacks are all set, hair is being brushed and everyone is rushing out the door. It's a new day!

In the framework of a week, this would be early to mid-week (Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday), which is when you are well into the week, into a project, into whatever you are working on that particular week.

In terms of your monthly cycle, this would be the time of ovulation. This is when you are most fertile and your hormones are all geared towards accepting a sperm and create life. Whether if you are planning on getting pregnant or not, use this energy of the month to bring something you are working on to life. This is a great time to spread the word about what you're working on, to press send, to publish, to launch. This is a great time to start new things. This is also when you might feel most chatty and most magnetic, so it's a great time to socialize, go out on dates, play with the kids, go out with your girlfriends, do sales calls, sell. You'll notice that this is when people will tell you that you look really good, and this is because biologically you are super fertile which is needed in order to attract a mate. Capitalize on this energy! Since this is when you are most fertile, again whether if you are planning on getting pregnant or not, this is the time of the month to have sex.

Make this day of the month special, luscious and magnetic. Have fun Since you have lots of energy during this time of the month, enjoy dancing, bouncing off the walls, singing, and wear something that makes you feel good. And please, note that there is a difference between wearing something that makes you look sexy and something that makes you feel sexy.

So we spoke about this energy that happens daily at 6 am, weekly at about mid-week (Tuesday-Wednesday), Monthly (once a month on the day of your ovulation), and in a context of a year, this would be summertime. It would be the longest day of the year during the summer solstice, so stay outside as long as you can in order to honor the energy of visibility as much as you possible.

Culmination - If visibility has the energy of starting new things, the energy of culmination is bringing things into completion. This is important, especially for those of us who like to start new things but never finish them. The energy of this time in a day, week, month and a year is all geared toward culminating something you've worked on during visibility. Just to give you an example, and since we're all moms here, let's say that during visibility you were researching about a swim school for your kids. You asked friends, you made phone calls, you've seen a few schools. Now it's time to take action, choose a school and make the payment. This is what I mean by culminating something, bringing it to an end, instead of leaving something hanging in the air forever. Incomplete tasks, projects, to-dos are huge energy leaks which you want to eliminate as much as possible from your life. This is why it is important to say 'NO' to most things, especially if they are not aligned with your life's vision and purpose (more on that in a later episode).

In a day, the energy of visibility would start at 7 am and go until 12 pm, then at 12 pm, this is when the energy of culmination begins and ends at about 6 pm. This is when you are most productive at work, getting stuff done, and finishing up and getting ready to go home. This is when you feel like your energy for the day is almost gone, you are getting tired, craving coffee, or a mid-day sugary snack or a pick-me-up.

In a week this would be the time of almost end of the week, starting at Thursday and ending on Friday night.

In terms of your menstrual cycle, culmination would occur during the luteal phase, which biologically is designed to be longer than ovulation, which is a great signal and reminder from the universe that it takes much more time to complete something than start it. There are times for new beginnings but now is not for that. This is when you will have the extra energy you need to complete, finish and culminate things. Whether it is a friendship you are waning down, weaning your baby off of a pacifier or a boob or sleep training your baby, this is time to GSD. Which stand for getting s.h.i.t done! Track your menstrual cycle and use the energy of the luteal phase to complete projects. If you are not menstruating, align yourself with the lunar cycle, and use the energy of the waning moon to wrap things up. I love this quote by Kate Northrup: "When you honor the gifts of the phase of creation you’re in, you get a lot more done in a lot less time."

Looking at a year, this would be the time of fall, when leafs are falling and the earth is getting ready to go inward for winter.

Fertile Void - I love this expression because it embodies the polarity of two forces that seem to not have anything to do with one another. On the one hand, it is void, empty, as though nothing is happening, and on the other it is fertile. How can that be? Let's see what is going on here. The energy during this time of the day, week, month and year pertains to rest, pausing, replenishing, and taking a breath. This is one of the most important phases of creation as this is actually when it all starts. This is the time to re-evaluate, recentre and refocus.

In terms of a day, this is the time when you are asleep when your body's energy is being replenished and your mind is quiet. This is why you keep hearing that sleep is so crucial as you cannot function without it. As mothers, so many of us are sleep deprived, and I believe that for a period of time, we sort of lose our sense of security and safety because of this loss of sleep, because we lose what is supposed to ground us for the whole day, week, month and year.

In terms of the week, this would be on Saturday. We all know what the bible says about the 7th day of the week, which is the day of rest. You are not supposed to work, to do any "productive" activities. Only rest. Spend time with family, kids, play board games and just give yourself permission to slow down and lay fallow.

It’s the same energy as the season of winter, the new moon, and the time of the month when we bleed (aka our menstrual cycle).

I love this quote by Kate Northrup: "Deep, true creativity doesn’t emerge despite the deep pause; it emerges because of it."

I think in order to thrive in our lives we need to learn how to pause, sit in silence, quite our minds. Stop the chatter and tune into what matters. This is where the feeling of grounding is coming from.

 

Emergence - this phase is the beginning of anything. The energy of the spring, where everything is just beginning to bloom, you see tiny buds coming out from the branches of the trees, you can smell renewal and newness in the air. 

Looking at a day, emergence would be early in the morning, right before the sun is rising, when your body will be moving a lot as to signify that you've had enough to sleep, it's time to wake up. This is also the energy of Sunday, where the week starts anew and we get to start all over again. This is the time to plant seeds and get started.

If you are like me this time in the cycle of creation would feel really good, since it is much easier to start something rather than finishing it. So in order to thrive in your life, it is important to embrace the energy of culmination and the fertile void in order to complete what you set your attention to without burning yourself out.

Let's say you want to plan a way overdue date night with your husband. This would be the time you'd use google a lot, you'll research, have ideas, it will start flowing to you easily. In order to get the most out of this phase, make sure to put your ideas on paper, so you don't feel scattered and all over the place.

Emergence has the same energy as the follicular phase of your period (which is the 5 days or so after you bleed).

If you really want to thrive then it is super important to embrace whichever phase you're currently at, and move through the cycle with grace, self-compassion and being reasonable, kind and thoughtful towards yourself. You can't and should not, do everything at once and at one time. It takes time to create, birth and complete. It is time to let go of perfection and the desire to do everything. Life doesn't work this way, so I want you to be gentle with yourself and embrace good-enoughness into your life.

That's it. These are the four phases of birthing or creating anything you desire in your life.

You may be asking yourself where is it start? Which phase of creation is the start? The answer to that is there is no beginning and there is no end to a cycle. It constantly flows, moving through the phases until one day, it no longer exists. Which from the perspective of the human experience would mean death, or transitioning from this world into a new realm of being.

You are literally a magnet for creating and manifesting things into your life. Master this and you will soar in your womanhood, mothering, and relationships.

I hope this was super helpful and insightful for you, now I want to hear from you! Which phase are you at in your life, motherhood or marriage right now? And what are the steps you are going to take in order to get the best of where you're at right now? Find me on facebook, and message me! I go under Dorit Palvanov. You are also welcome to join my closed FB group where we talk about this kind of stuff and more.

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